lingering.

'...mhmm I want to linger, mmhmm a little longer, mhmm a little longer here with you...'

We used to sing that song at Camp. I didn't know what lingering was then, but I do now.

Sometimes bad smells or tastes linger. Tastes like that garlicky pasta the other day. It seemed to be stuck to my tongue forever.

Sometimes bad thoughts linger. I get upset and I get angry. I waste my time thinking and re-thinking situations. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you.

Sometimes bad feelings linger. I get hurt. I get sad. Loved ones pass away and that sense of emptiness lingers on for years. That hallow feeling lingers and dissipates but is never truly gone.

I get caught up in these feelings, as if my mind is on ‘replay,’ cycling through anger, hate, hurting, sadness. It is so easy to get stuck. So easy to linger in this darkness, to hold myself down, to dig a little deeper. I push away from reality. I let go of commitments. I isolate from the world. I linger in nothingness. I hate lingering.

Sometimes good smells or tastes linger. Smells like my mother’s kitchen. Tastes like a sweet kiss from someone special that lasts on your lips until bed time.  

Sometimes good thoughts linger. I get excited and energetic. I find it easy to get thrilled about the littlest things, and that is fine by me. I anticipate awesomeness. I love it I love it I love it I love it!

Sometimes good feelings linger. I smile. I feel warmth in your embrace. I feel special. I float above the world and I am soaring. I coast along this feeling and ride the wave of emotion. You said goodnight and now you’re gone, but you linger here with me. It could be days before we see each other again, but that kiss, that embrace – it lingers. I love lingering.