change.

I feel unhappy, I am so sad
I lost the best friend that I've ever had.

She is my baby, I love her so

But it's too late now, I've let her go.

We’re going through changes. 

-Kelly and Ozzy

We’re renovating the kitchen. We are in dire need of a new kitchen. I’ve lived in this house my whole life, and I only remember the kitchen ever looking this way. I talked to Mom about it. I guess we’ve renovated once before. But that was long ago and I don’t remember it at all.

I live in the basement of my parents’ house. We share the kitchen, but I have my own bed room/living room/bathroom downstairs. Many changes have happened in the house recently. For example, a bed room, living room and bathroom exist downstairs now (har har). I moved down to give my sister more space upstairs. She lives with us too, with her two beautiful kids.

Sister took the kids shopping for outfits for an upcoming special occasion. Dad was at work, and Mom and I got to work on the kitchen. Dad removed the baseboards last night, so we could start removing the wallpaper this morning. Sister and the kids came home while the kitchen wallpaper was...less than finished. Bear (nephew, 2 ½ years old) has been having some grumpy days recently. He’s potty training, and he doesn’t understand why his little sister Squidgee seems to get more attention than he does (she’s breastfed, which means she sits on Mommy’s lap by herself periodically throughout the day, which Bear LOATHES).

Bear tends to lose his mind about the littlest things. For example, if he wants a drink in the blue cup, and you give him the blue cup with a green lid... you have wronged him. You have wronged him, and you will feel his horrifying scream-his-two-year-old-face-off-temper-tantrum wrath. When he woke up this morning, he realized that Grampa (Dad) had BROKEN the kitchen. Oh no. How very sad. After shopping, he came home to see myself and Gramma (Mom) DESTROYING the walls. Grampa was draining the fish tank so that it would be easier to move out of the kitchen. Bear started losing his mind.

            No no no no! That my shishtank! Shishtank stay in titchin!

He cried and cried and screamed and cried. Then I realized something: He’s just like me. We both don’t do well with change. His grumpy days started when all of a sudden he had a baby sister. All of a sudden he was a big boy. Big boys pee on the potty and sleep in their own beds all by themselves – a huge change from his toddler days.

I realized that even though I get frustrated with his exceptionally loud (and occasionally violent) tantrums, I have to sympathize with the little bugger. I get uneasy with change. I usually tend to avoid it. But as an adult, I also understand change. I knew that when Bear was born I’d be an aunt. I knew that when the three of them moved in, I’d have a bit more responsibility and it would be a bit more hectic around here. He’s just a kid. A really little kid. And when he sees Grampa dragging the ‘shishtank’ out of the ‘titchin’ (which doesn’t even look like the real titchin anymore) his little world crumbles.

As much as change makes me uneasy, and scares me most of the time, I think I like it. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life recently, and my life has improved quite a bit because of those changes. Now, I’m realizing that the only thing scarier than change is staying stagnant. I’m a young adult- a student. Things are supposed to change... otherwise I’d be a broke twenty-something living in my parents’ basement making late-night blog posts and eating leftover Easter candy forever....