thinking.

I find myself thinking late at night. It doesn’t matter what I think about, just thinking in general.

Last night I realized something about myself: I feel compelled to come up with a new idea before bed. The context of this idea doesn’t matter. It could be a new conclusion for a paper I’m writing, an idea for an outfit for the next day, anything really. Sometimes I even just think of strings of words that sound pleasant together.

Our hearts melted. Into each other, the warmth of our love was like glue. We were bound together in this moment.

Some nights I struggle to come up with a new idea. Last night I went to bed at a reasonable hour, and found myself tossing and turning for hours. For FOUR hours.

I could wear the green dress, or maybe not. Was the main effect supposed to be significant? Did I analyze that correctly? What will I eat for breakfast? Maybe I should move my furniture... or maybe not since I’ll be moving soon.... I need to buy more pasta. I don't think I have any eggs left.....

I felt like my thoughts were spinning within me and I couldn’t keep up. I felt like I couldn’t get one solid idea- only parts of this and parts of that. I felt incomplete. I couldn’t stop thinking for long enough to start sleeping. I wanted to fall asleep. I wanted to feel rested. I was all 'cocooned' up in my blanket. I was warm. I was ready to jump into dream land... but I was stuck in reality.